Men's Health

Picking Up At Bars, Clubs + Parties

Gay Bar

Bars

Many gay men go to bars. They can be great places to meet other men for a chat, friendship or something more. If you 'e inclined to go for a look and a drink, the bar scene can provide a safe and friendly environment to meet other men attracted to men for social and other types of interactions.

Not everyone in bars are looking for sex. This isn’t to say that cruising doesn’t happen in gay bars – it does. It’s quite possible to meet someone in a bar, have a good conversation and establish that there's a mutual attraction, then negotiate the possibility of going to their (or your) place or just exchange phone numbers. In the larger cities there are usually a few gay bars to choose from. Each has its own character and caters to different types of gay men.

Leather bars, cocktail bars, bars where younger guys hang out, bars where older guys hang out, bars that are mixed gay and straight, and ones that are mixed gay and lesbian. The choice is yours – it depends on who you feel most comfortable with. Check out the free gay papers or websites to get a sense of the sort of people who go to each venue.

Nightclubs

Gay nightclubs can be more full-on and intense than bars. Most of them open at about eleven or midnight and, depending on the nightclub’s liquor licence, usually go well into the small hours of the morning. Apart from the social gathering, the attraction with nightclubs is, of course, the dancing, music and lights. The clubs usually have an entry fee at the door and drinks are usually more expensive than in bars.

The atmosphere at nightclubs is sometimes less cruisy. People are often more focused on dancing and hanging out with their friends. Again, that’s not to say there is no chance of getting lucky, it just works differently. The music is often loud and the venue quite dark and club goers generally aren’t there to strike up conversations with new people. You might also find that there's a more mixed audience at nightclubs. Women often go to them for the music and because they can enjoy themselves without men hitting on them. Sometimes even straight men might go to these places, usually on the arm of their partner.

Dance parties

Dance parties are usually either annual events or linked in to some holiday like Easter or Australia Day. They can often have themes, and partygoers wear outfits in the style of the theme. Sometimes they celebrate aspects of a particular political, sexual or subcultural interest (e.g. leather). These parties can vary in size from a few hundred people up to ten or twenty thousand. The larger parties are often broken down into several smaller ‘venues’ that play different styles of music that vary from hip-hop to disco to hardcore house to rock. There are ‘chill-out’ areas where you can sit and relax and escape the mayhem of the dance arenas. People are usually quite friendly and you can sometimes get a sense of the community spirit, especially when the event has a political theme, like Sydney’s Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras.